A LOVE LETTER PENNED FROM A FAN --- To Tom Cruise

Dear Tom,

I know it has been awhile since I've written you.

My sis took my crayons and paper that I write to you on.

Remember how I drew those pictures of you and I together?

We were on a beach somewhere, Toledo probably. 

Oh Toledo, Ohio in general, how I love thee too, let me count the ways,

1......2.......3.......

But back to you Tom, my Tom, not a day goes by that I do not wonder what you are doing.  I peek at the rags, to see if they have any stories about you, but seemingly you have fell off their radar mostly, but not mine, you're still there, in my heart.

My sis tells me, "He doesn't read your letters!! Gawd!!! Why don't you write like RuPaul??"

I've tried, I really have. RuPaul wrote back once, it was a nice letter, she kissed it, down where she or more like, her assistant had signed her name,

"With feelings, RuPaul..."

With feelings, oh Tom, how I wish you would write me back, with feelings, with heart felt love, friends forever, maybe even more, oh how I wish you would write me back, not like William Shatner though, with that restraining order.

Those things suck.

All I wrote to him was his attempt at Cyberpunk novels were lame.

He should write "My Little Pony" fan fiction.

He'd done better with those, probably gotten a movie out of it, starring you, Tom, of course you.

William Shatner's lawyers told me, or the judge, I forget, that I was a menance to society, not in the hard way like Ice Cube was, but more like that stalker killing a bunny and leaving it on someone's door step with a note that reads, "Unlike this bunny, my love for you will never die....."

Oh Tom, it's true, my love for you will never die, even when you make those awful movies, where you try really hard to save them, but the script writers, those awful beasts, just cannot write the lines for you, but I could.

So my dearest Tom, I shall finish this letter, with heartfelt tears in my eyes, as I sign my name, with feelings,

Bob X. Williams

AKA,

Your biggest fan.....