9/11 REMEMBERED - 17 YEARS LATER - WHAT WE HAVE BECOME
We remember 9/11 - by watching a Keeping up with The Kardashians marathon on E! Thanks E! for remembering what this day is about!! WE LOVE YOU KIM! NEVER BE AFRAID!!!
Today is September 11th, 2018 - 17 years ago today alien butt babies sent planes into the Trade Towers - it was an event that made Americans come together as a country and for a few days, we told each other we wouldn't forget.
We here at Lesbian Lunch remember where we were when the planes hit.
We were asleep.
Night shifts at a casino can drain you.
My wife was at work; she called me.
"Go watch the TV! We're being attacked!"
I fumbled down the stairs to the ground floor and turned on the TV; watching the first plane fly into the Tower on repeat.
Then, on live TV, I watched the second plane maneuver its way into history.
I sat there shocked; almost trembling as the day continued on.
I remember the quietness of the skies as plane flights were grounded; not a plane flew, except some Saudi princes, buddies with the Bushes.
Then, we got mad; we wanted revenge on the dirty bastards who attacked us, and we also wanted to bring Democracy to these savages.
(Yes, we here at Lesbian Lunch realize that the United States of America are not a true democracy but a state ran by old men in too tight underwear who desperately need a blow job so very very bad who are picked by a drunken goat shitting on a big piece of butcher paper!!)
Of course, it took a few years for us to invade a country.
"We invaded Saudi Arabia right? Them bastards with their smug terrorists hijacking our planes, slamming them into our pretty towers!!!"
Nope; we decided to invade Iraq because well, we kinda liked Saudi Arabia, we tickled their balls with our tongues.
And Iraq was ready to be filled with DEMOCRACY!!
"Weapons of Mass Destruction!!" was screamed from senators to citizens (I didn't, I said, this is kind of stupid! When are we going to invade Detroit so we can rebuild them? My senator replied -- WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION!! IRAQ HAZ EM!!! I was the odd man out in my groups of friends, I didn't see what Iraq and its dictator had to do with 9/11 - we were better off with him in power as he was crazy enough to keep the other nutball terrorists out of his country. You don't go into a place that the leader nerve gases his own people; kills his family just because they didn't buy the wrong kind of toilet paper!)
We knocked Iraqi's door in; killed the bastard dictator and in one swell swoop, we brought democracy to Iraq.
Where there was homes; businesses; whorehouses, etc. we replaced them with democracy. (Read bomb craters)
Were the citizens of Iraq appreciative of our democracy?
Some were; others weren't too much and without the crazy dictator in charge, another set of crazies came in and tried to destroy the democracy we had put into place.
(Yes, a simplified history of the war but hell, close enough for government standards!!)
Soon, we saw everything was awesome - Iraq had a Walmart, no not a very good Walmart, but it was there and we decided other countries deserved to have Democracy rammed down their unappreciative throats; did we invade Detroit?
No, Detroit couldn't handle the Democracy but Afghanistan could!!
So with a song in our heart; we went there.
And they were as appreciative as Iraq!
And democracy flowed from their butts!!
"Can we not have so much democracy? Please!?"
We said no!! DEMOCRACY may hurt but afterwards, the bleeding MAY stop.
Course in today's 20 second sound clip attention span of the typical American, we have forgotten that so much democracy has been built and today; we stand solemnly at attention, remembering the nearly 3000 Americans killed but forgetting the millions killed in retribution or as we call it, WE BRINGING YOU DEMOCRACY!!!
Never forget.
Never forget.
Kim Kardashian will bring her marketing to you soon Peru!
Good night and have a better tomorrow!
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