DID VICE PRESIDENT MIKE PENCE PEN THE ANONYMOUS OP PIECE IN THE NY TIMES BLASTING PRESIDENT TRUMP?
An insider looks at the fact - or makes shit up because why the hell not!!
By
Annie O. Nomous
So today's run of the news shows that an opinion piece written by an anonymous insider in the White House is making the teletype machine hum and the President apparently Tweeting the hell out of the Twitter.
Does the so-called “Senior Administration Official” really exist, or is it just the Failing New York Times with another phony source? If the GUTLESS anonymous person does indeed exist, the Times must, for National Security purposes, turn him/her over to government at once!
We here at Lesbian Lunch weren't too sure but we were bored enough to go find out.
We tried to call the President for some updates but he was on his way to a MAKING AMERICA GREAT AGAIN stomp in my home state of Montana (probably not my home town of Butte - he's afraid to go there, everyone is afraid to go there, demon rum will kill you!!)
According to some news outlets who shall remain nameless (HI PEOPLE.COM!!!), there was one word that may shine the light on who the traitorous dog is.
That one word: LODESTAR!!!
The author used the term to describe his penis or something.
We're not sure, we're really not into this piece as big as we should but we decided to push forward and maybe in the future, when this shit is being taught in history classes across the galaxy, we'll be mentioned as we exposed the truth before anyone else!
Apparently the author has used this term before in a chat room over at AOL.COM.
The chat room was ALTFIC-HARRY.POTTER.NAILS.EVERYONE and the username who posted the story was called BIG.INDIANA.GUV
Using the magic that is Google, we here reversed search and discovered a person using the same username at Plenty of Fish - one Mike.Pence of Bumblefruck, Indiana!
Could it be?
Could the traitorous dog be THAT Mike Pence?
We clicked on the profile; there was a profile pic.
SIGN IN TO VIEW PIC!
Why you piece of....we signed in.
USERNAME: BIGTHROBBINGDOCK
PASSWORD: OURMOMTHINKSWEREHAWT
THE HELL!!!! We screamed at the screen, like it could hear us, HOW COULD YOU BITE THE HAND THAT FEEDS YOU MR. PENCE????
The screen remained silent.
We had to act fast as we've been watching Game of Thrones (we're into season 4!! Season 3 was rough for a major family!!!) and know what could happen on the golf course in Billings or Bozeman or where ever the President was at.
We called the man himself; DONALD J. TRUMP.
"Hello?"
"Mr. Trump!!! Lesbian Lunch here!!!"
"Love your paper!!! Great cartoons!! Making me look great!!"
"Yes, yes sir, but we have some big news to tell you, MIKE PENCE IS THE ANONYMOUS WRITER!!"
"Yes, I know, I helped him write the piece. We needed some new 'shake ups' at the White House as the news feed were getting kind of boring."
"Oh, that makes sense!!"
"So what happens in season 3 of the Game of Thrones?"
"You don't want to know Mr. President! Have a nice time in Montana!"
We hung up, case solved, and went back to cruising porn!
Does the so-called “Senior Administration Official” really exist, or is it just the Failing New York Times with another phony source? If the GUTLESS anonymous person does indeed exist, the Times must, for National Security purposes, turn him/her over to government at once!We here at Lesbian Lunch weren't too sure but we were bored enough to go find out.
We tried to call the President for some updates but he was on his way to a MAKING AMERICA GREAT AGAIN stomp in my home state of Montana (probably not my home town of Butte - he's afraid to go there, everyone is afraid to go there, demon rum will kill you!!)
According to some news outlets who shall remain nameless (HI PEOPLE.COM!!!), there was one word that may shine the light on who the traitorous dog is.
That one word: LODESTAR!!!
The author used the term to describe his penis or something.
We're not sure, we're really not into this piece as big as we should but we decided to push forward and maybe in the future, when this shit is being taught in history classes across the galaxy, we'll be mentioned as we exposed the truth before anyone else!
Apparently the author has used this term before in a chat room over at AOL.COM.
The chat room was ALTFIC-HARRY.POTTER.NAILS.EVERYONE and the username who posted the story was called BIG.INDIANA.GUV
Using the magic that is Google, we here reversed search and discovered a person using the same username at Plenty of Fish - one Mike.Pence of Bumblefruck, Indiana!
Could it be?
Could the traitorous dog be THAT Mike Pence?
We clicked on the profile; there was a profile pic.
SIGN IN TO VIEW PIC!
Why you piece of....we signed in.
USERNAME: BIGTHROBBINGDOCK
PASSWORD: OURMOMTHINKSWEREHAWT
THE HELL!!!! We screamed at the screen, like it could hear us, HOW COULD YOU BITE THE HAND THAT FEEDS YOU MR. PENCE????
The screen remained silent.
We had to act fast as we've been watching Game of Thrones (we're into season 4!! Season 3 was rough for a major family!!!) and know what could happen on the golf course in Billings or Bozeman or where ever the President was at.
We called the man himself; DONALD J. TRUMP.
"Hello?"
"Mr. Trump!!! Lesbian Lunch here!!!"
"Love your paper!!! Great cartoons!! Making me look great!!"
"Yes, yes sir, but we have some big news to tell you, MIKE PENCE IS THE ANONYMOUS WRITER!!"
"Yes, I know, I helped him write the piece. We needed some new 'shake ups' at the White House as the news feed were getting kind of boring."
"Oh, that makes sense!!"
"So what happens in season 3 of the Game of Thrones?"
"You don't want to know Mr. President! Have a nice time in Montana!"
We hung up, case solved, and went back to cruising porn!
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