SENATOR WARREN SAYS IT'S TIME TO USE A FIFTH OF JACK TO REMOVE TRUMP FROM OFFICE

SENATOR WARREN SAYS IT'S TIME TO USE A FIFTH OF JACK TO REMOVE TRUMP FROM OFFICE

By Dick Johnson 

(We really only have one guy sitting in his living room but we're trying to look professional - like CNN or Fox or the Penny Saver!)

September 6th, 2018 - 7:48 PM - Updated: 7:53 pm

 (We didn't really update nothing. We're just bored and feel like adding a new article to our newest site!!! HI!! Like the new header? I made it with Photoshop CS2 and some porn!!!)

So it's 8:08 PM, the editor is snoozing at his desk and here I, some lone blogger, that last man at the typewriter cruises the Internet looking for a news story to put up on the site.

Elizabeth Warren, senator from the great state of What, thinks it's time for President Donald Trump to be removed from office, utilizing the rarely used fifth of Jack Daniels kept in the Lincoln bedroom, in the closet used by Warren G. Harding for his romps with some aliens he met from Mars.

True story.

Go Google it.

Amazing right?

According to CNN, a known #FakeNews site with a bigger readership than us, so therefore we steal their quotes, Senator Warren was heard saying,

"We'll shove this bottle right up his butt and throw him on a train heading to Cleveland!!"

We tried to get verification of this quote but that requires actually leaving our nice soft chair and heading over to the TV over in the corner, so we'll just say, it sounds like something she would say.

Donald Trump, spending some time out in Montana for his MY ASS GAINING AGE crusade, was quoted as saying, "Cleveland? CLEVELAND!? I GOT YOUR CLEVELAND RIGHT HERE!!" and grabbed his crotch in the universal sign that loosely translates into "BITE ME!"

Mike Pence, who we are trying to get to write an op piece for us, told us, "He said it!! I heard it!!!!"

And that's all the verification we need.

In other news, here's a pic of Warren G. Harding -----

HISTORY LESSON!! HISTORY LESSON!!!!

As stolen from Google because why the hell not!!! We <3 Google!!

Warren Gamaliel Harding was the 29th President of the United States from 1921 until his death in 1923. WikipediaBorn: November 2, 1865, Blooming Grove, OHDied: August 2, 1923, San Francisco, CACause of death: Heart attackPresidential term: March 4, 1921 – August 2, 1923Party: Republican PartySpouse: Florence Harding (m. 1891–1923)

And with that, we have met our quota for number of words per article (which is 53!! Go count!! Amazing huh? And you learned something!! Now if someone asks you can say, WARREN GAMALIEL HARDING WAS THE 29TH PRESIDENT FROM 1921 UNTIL HIS DEATH OF A HEART ATTACK IN 1923. )

Good night Earth; we might see you tomorrow!!