BREAKING NEWS - PROSTITUTE FLORENCE BARRELS TOWARDS US AS SOUTH CAROLINA ORDERS EVACUATION OF ENTIRE COAST
BY WINSTON C.
SEPTEMBER 10TH, 2018 - Somewhere on the Moon!!
This just in, FLASH!!!! Prostitute Florence barrels towards US as South Carolina orders entire coast to run, flee, to the safest spot, probably Fargo, North Dakota.
There could also be a very intense hurricane heading that way as well; we're not sure, our weather app is broken and our weather man is on vacation till the 20th.
We'll try to get back to you then.
Until then, according to the National Weather Service: GET THE FUCK OUT NOW!! Don't play hero.
"But my mom needs me!! She can't swim too good and neither can I but we gotta try to save the house our grandfather built with his very own penis!!"
The hell??
We're serious but if you can't, for whatever reason, get out, here's some advice before the storm hits ---
1. If you find yourself under water; just breathe in, and feel the water rush in, and good night my friend.
2. Sharks and such love you; let them dine on your spleen.
3. We have no idea what the rest are, we're just making shit up at this point.
By the way, we don't have a weather man, we just watch the weather channel and then cut and paste whatever they say, and they basically saying, RUN YOU DUMB FUCKS!!!!!
Good night and have a better tomorrow!!!!!
No comments:
Post a Comment